bad with sticks

big news. my sister lisa and ben are here and they drove here all the way from california with my car! hehe. although i can't drive it yet. I'm terrible with stick apparently. We had one practice session last night and I totally blew. I'm terrified of driving stick! I'll definitely have to finish out the week taking a bus to work.

It's nice having Lisa and Ben here. The apartment gets a little spooky when it's just me and kitty. She is very sweet though. Today is Megumi's birthday. Happy Birthday Gumi!!! My present might be a little small and a little late... d'oh!

Tonight will be another car practice session. I hope I don't suck as bad as I did yesterday. I'm scared that I'll never learn how to drive stick... meow.

Good Night, and Good Luck

back again. I'm only 21 and I have two bad knees already. Who knew that high school athletics could be so damaging? I'm going to the doctor on Thursday then I'll find out how bad it is... At present, I can't walk up and down stairs and walking is iffy. Somedays I'm alright, other days I look like a robot testing out its new legs. If I need surgery (which i think is likely) I'll have to fly back to dc to get it done. Luckily I'm still covered under my parents' insurance but I think that only lasts a little while longer... Scary stuff that I don't like to think about. I'll probably have arthritis by the time I'm 25. Maybe my body or my bones just age faster than the average person and I have some bizarro freak condition. I try not to think about my injuries too much though... It's just those times when I'm alone and lying in bed that I wonder what I'm doing with my life and how my life is going to be if I can't walk or run or do normal things. They'll probably be able to fix it sorta... but I won't be able to run and I'm plenty heavy as it is. I will just get fatter and fatter and be depressed and eat more. Sounds like a good plan. I mean, what can I do if I can't exercise very well and I have no pool membership so it's not like I can go swimming. Plus, there's no way in hell I'd get into a bathingsuit looking like like a blimp. I might as well give up now and plant myself in front of the television and eat bonbons. And perhaps I'll acquire a hick accent, a moo moo and squeeze out 10 children while I'm at it. Dunno how that will happen though since I can't walk and get out of the house so well...

Anyway, enough of this wallowing. I really did have a good weekend and everything. Friday night I went out for Indian food with Kyra and Erin and then came back here for drinks. Later that night Jitla, Becky, and I went to this bar where all of the baseball boys were. It was alright... not really my sort of place. It's one of those all-American places and all of the girls were dressed up parading themselves around and lots of frat/jock guys. I felt sort of out of place there. Plus, it hurt to be standing... I was just never one of the pretty girls and I'm not good at laughing at dumb jokes and batting my lashes. Plus, I don't want to. It wasn't really that bad I'm sure... But in my head, that's the way it was. I think I'm in my head too much. I'm driving myself insane. Internally I'm completely messed up and feel like I should go on a crash diet and lose about 50lbs but on the outside I keep my cool and act like nothing is going on. I know that if I lose massive amounts of weight I still won't be happy with myself. But maybe then I'd be happier... and less alone? No... I think I'm one of those people who will always be alone. I smile and pretend that it's all ok because I hate depressing people but in the end, even with lots of people around, I always feel alone. *sigh* This might win the award for most depressing blog post of mine. Oh well, it's all just bullshit anyway.

p.s. on a completely separate note, you should see "Good Night, and Good Luck" -- Ed Murrow is amazing :o)

samui!!!

oh my god so cold!!! Frost advisories and everything! So early too! This morning at the bus stop was terrible. I have to transfer twice too so it's even worse. I had a big coat, but it wasn't enough with all of the wind. I was a katsickle. Tomorrow I'll have to bust out the gloves, scarf, and hat. To make things worse, Jitla's out of town for the weekend and she left her car at Macalester so I can't really go grocery shopping or use it at all to keep myself from freezing. Oh well, I've gotten used to having absolutely zero car access.

To make things worse I can't find the thermostat to turn on the heat. My apartment is freezing! We have heaters too but i don't see any lever or anything to turn it on! Oh cruel fate... Why do you mock me so? Kitty and I have to stay close together to conserve heat. Lucky girl, she's all fuzzy! Right now she's curled up in a ball and I put a blankie over her body. Kawaii. Being her alone is sort of spooky... Plus, I'm not mobile either. d'oh! I took megu's monkey paw by accident. Sorry! But kitty loves it.

Uptown

happy october!

So it's been about a month since I've posted anything. Thus far, I have moved into my new apartment in Uptown Minneapolis and life has been pretty good. Before I had moved I had been really worried about never seeing anybody or doing anything but so far it's been quite the opposite. Sometimes it's nice to come home and just relax. Tonight I went to Alexa's housewarming party and then to the Independent where Thomas was visiting from North Dakota. It was pretty fun... it is usually a nice place but I never really realized the tv's there. I hate tv's in restaurants/bars because half the people you're talking to have their eyes glued to the tv and their mouths hanging open and just look completely brain dead. It's impossible to carry on a conversation that way. The tv was fine though, it just made me feel weird since I wasn't facing it and it's scary to have the people you're trying to talk to be completely engaged in something else.

Alexa's place was cool. it's in downtown Mpls and the view from her apartment is pretty cool. It's strange being a post-college student and seeing people with their non-college places. It still feels like college, but it's different. I feel that since I'm still in the area that all of my friends from home are still in their respective areas at college and forget that most of them are back in DC and I'm not. I was also thinking about the car I will soon be acquiring. I will probably have to get a Minnesota license! That's quite a commitment that I'm not sure I'm ready for!

Anywho, life in Uptown has been really great so far. I couldn't have hoped for better. I really like my room and how the bed part overlooks Hennepin and it's high up so I can watch the sky as I lay in bed or prop my pillow up against the window and watch the people going by. I like being on the top floor... It's relaxing. :o) I hope this entry isn't too boring... I'm a bit out of it right now and am trying to alleviate my guilt for not writing in my blog. Many exciting things have been happening all around me but I haven't been writing about them yet. They are probably more deserving of stories than this nonsense. oh well... another time perhaps. Oyasuminasai!