angsty wriitngs

for josh, who never missed a beat.

may the bar set by other mere mortals
hit you swiftly in your side
may that pebble that is me
trip you in your self-righteous stride.

maybe when you hit the ground
you will see me with mine own eyes;
bruised, in tatters
groping blindly through
that infinite darkness that
ceaselessly takes lives...

but if you look closely enough
it you pause for just a while
maybe you would see
that though i'm clawing
grasping at nothingness
that at least
I keep on trying.



What if and Maybe

What if you had reached out to me
Instead of pulling further away
What if you hadn't tried to drown the silence
with background noise and tv?
What if I had felt you trying
and grasped your outreached hand
Would this be how it would be?

And maybe that hand
would have been enough
to silence those age-old fears.
Instead
left unchecked in the silence
they found their raspy voice
softly at first
timidly creeping in
but then more brazenly
began taking form.

I know it doesn't matter now
but i can't help but wonder
what if and
maybe.