dear severely neglected blog. i'm back - and will hopefully actually mean that and be less flakey this time... i know, you don't trust me. that's okay, i don't either.
News from 2007
-just got dumped (a weekend ago - precisely 11 days prior to the worst and most obnoxious holiday of the year)
-got a new mac. she's lovely. (thank you lisa 'n ben!)
-am thinking of moving out of mn and changing careers entirely (details to come in a later entry)
Tip(s) for myself:*
1. Don't date co-workers. I know, i know, this has been my policy previously but i am foolish and made an exception last year, for which I am now paying dearly for...
*all the rest of my goals don't count since they're perpetual goals (floss, go to the gym, clean, do laundry, call my friends/family, all of this - more.
It is now Sunday night and I have to go to work tomorrow morning. I will see my ex-tomorrow. I hid in my cubicle Friday afternoon for fear of seeing him. I am pathetic, but he dumped me with no warning so I really am in no place to "just be friends". I'm far too hurt and angry to do that (be that mature?) No, I don't see that as mature necessarily. Immediately "just being friends" is ridiculous and I think is only possible if you didn't really care about the person that much in the first place. Please note that I said "immediately" there. Please also note that getting dumped at the start the coldest weekend/week of the this winter was excruciating. It felt like not only did my boyfriend not want me, but the entire state of Minnesota was telling me to get the F out - YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!!!
I have survived my first weekend being single. Whew. 1 down, the rest of my life to go... I'm glad I have internet & a computer once again because I've been able to talk to a lot of my friends who are near and far (many of whom I haven't spoken to in a while). My friends really came together this weekend and helped me forget that I'm not alone, at least - for a little while... "I get by with a little help from my friends" - while it's trite and overused, proved very true for me this past weekend.
It's been a strange week because my ex was my best-friend but is no longer in my life at all since i need time to nurse my injured self and start rebuilding again (until it all gets torn down the next time???) Anyways, I feel like I'm missing a major appendage, only I don't know which one or what it did exactly. I'd rather have an ex-labotomy (eternal sunshine of the spotless mind-esque). Valentine's day is their busiest time of the year after all...
So yeah, apparently the world keeps spinning and the sun does in fact come out again... I spent much of Monday sweeping up the pieces of myself and my life and didn't go to work on Monday as my face was a puffy mess betraying my complete psychological meltdown and outpouring of emotions stemming from the night before (when I finally discovered that he is just not that into me and hasn't been for a while now apparently). Bitter? Me? Never... Anyway, that whole "this too shall pass" stuff they always say is true and I know it is, but I need a little more time to wallow in my hurt. He on the other hand, is a freaking 'bot and after he brushed me off of his shoulders just picked right up again and kept going. Didn't even miss a beat. That bastard. A part of me wishes him pain.
May all the things I gave you cause you pain! hehe... :o)
Nevertheless, even the temperatures were far better this weekend than they've been all week - it warmed up to something in the 20s! i know, ABOVE zero this time. Go Minnesota - woooot! okay, enough for now. more to come later. oyasumi.
At first when I see you cry
It makes me smile
Yeah it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while
But then I just smile
I go ahead and smile